I haven’t been writing here a lot, for many reasons. I’ve been sick and yet I always find myself back here. This site… it means so much to me. It’s the place where I pour my feelings out… Sometimes, no… everyday… I wish I have someone. You know how everyone has someone to go to? Someone to talk to, to go out with, have a meal, catch a movie, go to a cafe, shop, have fun with, generally, someone who you can share your day with and I don’t mean friends… I wish I have that someone too… I’m just so lone. I don’t know how to approach people, the concept of relationships, love and all those stuff. I might look like I could string you sentences of advice for love if you’re having trouble but I have absolutely no clue when it comes to myself. I like people, I like everyone. I don’t think I’ve ever hated anyone, not with a burning passion, you know… hating someone with a passion. So here’s the thing. I’m not sure… I’m never sure. Is liking people enough for me to approach them? How do you even approach anyone anyway? I used to love someone and I’ve been burnt and it terrifies me. You know how things always go, either you end up with them, the person you love or something goes wrong and you end up without them. Both are equally terrifying… The commitment and the latter, the lost. So what do I do when I’m terrified with the concept of love, relationship and everything under it’s hood? How do I go for anyone? I just don’t know how….
I like to keep to myself, maintain my distance with people and all those stuff. I appear nonchalant most of the time but I care more than anything. I check up on everyone I know more than I would like to admit whenever I can’t sleep at night, you might prefer the term stalk here but I would think otherwise. I couldn’t care less who’s with who. There’s a difference right? To stalk and simply to check up on people to see if they’re okay. I have this twitter list, 34 members, people I care about. A twitter list is like a filtered timeline, with tweets only from the members you listed. So I can read tweets, retweets from everyone I care about, the member on that list. It makes things easier. I can’t quite share it because one, it’s personal stuff, and two I made it private since day one but I have a few other public list under my twitter account if you’re interested. Here’s one where I find adorable pictures from https://twitter.com/zhninetyfour/lists/adorable
Anyway, I made another blog. Here’s the url if you’re interested, eyeswillnotlie.wordpress.com